SNAPE DIES on pg. 658
Burbage dies on pg. 12
Hedwig dies on pg. 56
Mad-Eye dies on pg. 78
Scrimgeour dies on pg. 159
Wormtail dies on pg. 471
Dobby dies on pg. 476
Fred Weasley dies on pg. 637
Harry gets hurt by Voldemort on pg. 704 but comes back to life on pg. 724
Tonks, Lupin, and Colin Creevy have their deaths confirmed on pg. 743


The PETA sucks.


At first, I thought to myself: “Surely this has to be a joke, even the page title hints towards porn.”

It would turn out that I was sadly mistaken. They’re actually serious. Apparently, chickens are maltreated. Yes, chickens, those little balls of feathers that, after having their head severed from their bodies, still run around the enclosure. These are the chickens we’re talking about. They’re being maltreated.

Is that even possible? I mean, if you can run around without a head, I’m pretty sure pain plays no larger role in your feeble existence. Whoops, there goes all your bullshit about dunking chickens in boiling water, Pam.

In any case, they’re only chickens. Who really cares? They’re food, sustenance for greater beings, i.e. humans. We’re superior. Perhaps the fact that we’re killing chickens by smashing them against walls tipped you off.

Also, you shouldn’t listen to Pamela Anderson. She hates you. Just look at what she said:

I’m calling on consumers to “Kick the Bucket”

Thanks, but no thanks. I’m happy with my life.


On another note, I finally bought myself a DS lite. A black one. It’s hot like your mom

…Or something of that nature. Indeed, it is a beautifully crafted little machine, and I cherish my DS Lite (white, of course. It matches the shade of my skin OH SNAP– wait…) with a passion rivalled only by a good mother’s love for her child. A bad mother wouldn’t love her child much, which is why I said a good mother.

In any case, it’s a fantastic little machine to have for the times when you’ve got nothing better to do than to own Mario and that fag monkey Donkey Kong in a good race in Mario Kart DS. Also, downloading demos at hotspots is faptacular, and WiFi is awesome. Wireless in general is awesome, especially download play.

Also, PictoChat is awesome. Definitely a winner.

Daxon has it. Well, it’s either that or ADHD but I dunno about the hyperactivity bit. He sure shit ain’t normal, that much I know.

Fuckups. And more importantly, people who are proud of said fuckups.
The Leaning Tower of Retardation
Take the Leaning Tower of Pisa, for example. It’s got to be one of the biggest mistakes made by human hand, and yet the Italians praise it. This leads us to the question: are Italians more retarded than the rest of us?
The answer is no. In fact, thousands of tourist from around the world visit Pisa and its leaning pile of shit every year, taking photos with, according to them, witty poses and originality.

Myself, I’d honestly never sink so low as to admire something that’s so obviously faulty. Either the architect was on drugs designing it, or the builders were, because that shit just isn’t right. And even though everyone can clearly SEE it isn’t right, they’ll spend money on traveling to it! I’m familiar with the concept of not being a sore loser (or architect, in this case) but do we really have to embrace a mans mistake? How is he supposed to rectify it if it’s accepted? (even though he happens to be like, dead, and stuff)
Maybe it’s in human nature to not want to admit weakness and instead act like you love your fuckups. Maybe we just have this weird need to think we can’t ever make mistakes, despite “only being human”.

At any rate, it’s phenomenally retarded, and you’ll never see me worshipping something that bears an odd resemblance to a crooked dick.

Leaning Cock of Pisa

Warcraft III is undoubtedly the best RTS game ever created. The expansion, The Frozen Throne (henceforth referred to simply as FT) is like adding Jesus into the equation. It becomes godlike.

After a year or so of not really playing it, I sat down and installed it. I played through the campaign again and marvelled at the storyline’s intensity and sheer awesomeness (actually a word). The gameplay is fantastic, and the races are all great. Really unique. You’ve got your regular Human and Orc, and then you’ve got Undead and Night Elf, too.

The graphics, while dated, are fantastic. You can bitch and moan about polygon count all you want, but War3 has a graphics system that not only works but also looks damn good. The music and sounds are great, too. They really liven it all up.

The best part about War3, however, is neither the gameplay nor the campaign. Like so many other games, the best bits are in the multiplayer. However, War3’s broad range and more or less infinite mapmaking possibilities allow players to make kickass maps like Defense of the Ancients and Footman Wars. I can’t explain these two because words do not exist that accurately reflect the amount of kick-assness (not a word) they exude.

In other news, I bought a Nintendo DS Lite earlier this month.

It kicks ass.